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“I can and I am. I can and I am,” Raka whispered the mantra to herself

again and again, taking it as deep into her being as she could.

She knew, now that early adulthood had slipped into almost her mid-years,

it was time to grab on and live life for all its worth. Her journey to here wasn’t

so easy, but it got her here and she couldn’t complain about that.

What Raka couldn’t understand was why. Why was she here and what was

she to do with this life of potential and time and experience? She knew she was

well loved, yet she struggled to feel herself truly loving. She knew many of her

talents and skills, yet none held her attention for long.

Raka walked through the woods around her home on this, her day of

deciding, her day of trying to become I can and I am rather than any of the

other realities she’d tried on.

Her good friend Kozah found her in the late afternoon, sitting beneath a

sycamore tree much older than either of them would ever know. Kozah too

had led a life that was less than wonderful. He’d whirled through his early years

in such chaos that he’d created great pain for himself and all around him who

could not view him with detachment. Kozah’s unease with his earlier ways of

being brought him this day to the sycamore tree and to the place of desiring a

life lived fully or not lived at all.

As Kozah sat next to Raka and listened to her whisper, “I can and I am,”

he began to whisper with her. Their whispers grew into full voiced chants, then

songs, then melodies wrapping around one another as they spiraled up the trunk

of the old sycamore and spread like wildfire through the canopy of branches.

Raka and Kozah sang until their throats would give forth no more sound and

then sat silently as their songs rained down onto them from all around.

In the silence, each embraced the choices they’d made in their lives. Raka

had chosen to restrict her being to ways that never touched others. Kozah had

chosen to expand his being in ways that forced others to engage with him.

Raka saw the beauty of containing her own energy and saw ways to live that

beauty and be fully engaged in life.

Kozah saw the beauty of engaging intensely with others and saw ways to live

that beauty and be fully engaged with himself.

 And they sat in silence while the moon rose, then descended, and the sun

rose to the fullness of noon. They sat and allowed the new wisdom to settle

deeply within their bodies. Life began calling and as the whispers grew into full

voiced chants, calling these two seekers into action, Raka and Kozah gave

thanks to the old sycamore tree, embraced with full hearts and each returned

home as I Am.

I Am

Whispers of Our Knowings

Excerpt from book


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